Tuesday, June 21, 2011



Hello All,
 OK, question, have you every encountered a group of "mean girls"? Not at school, or work but at church? A Group of girls taking charge and will talk about you behind your back as soon as they get the chance? I thought this was crazy when someone told me about the "mean girls" at their church. I could have fainted! I thought that church was a place for someone to go and feel free and at peace not confined, bound, and uncomfortable.
  I guess some people feel as if they above everyone else if they have a certain talent that excels in the church, or grew to be "popular" with people because they think they are important because they have been "in church" their entire lives. I can not say that I have came into contact with someone who was a "mean girl" in the church but I have encountered someone I have had problems with inside of the church. I do not think that anyone should feel superior to anyone if they call themselves redeemed! I honestly think that some people do not know what it means to be redeemed.
  So to all of the mean girls in the church...GET OVER YOURSELF! No one is more important than God and his son Jesus! So please stop thinking that you are! Life should be about leading people to Christ no steering people away because of your hypocritical ways! This is all written with love because we should all try to stick together as best as possible! 



Adrienne said...

Life should be about leading people to Christ no steering people away because of your hypocritical ways! <---- TRUTH!!!

Femmes With Benefits said...

Interesting concept.

There are plenty of "mean" girls in churches. It's sad because humility is a true sign of a good Christian, but so many people lack it. They feel that coming to church and being seen on Sunday will "suffice", but you have to carry church (and God) in your heart as well.

Great post, darling!


Sojo (Soraya) ; FWB

Anonymous said...

Mean girls are everywhere. I mean if the devil goes to church on sunday there's no doubt in my mind that mean girls exist in church. Lets start with the musicians and slowly make our way to the audience

Dhalia Rodriguez Edwards said...

I agree with Adrienne.


lil miss Sauniya' said...

I don't think it really matters where you are, in church or not, being mean is just wrong. I guess some poeple just fall into the pressure of society and try to make themselves feel better by trying to bring others down, forgetting what they really are and its just sad.
Just like you said, sticking together is simply what we should all do. :)

ChicBrie said...

Thank you for commenting guys! I agree with all of you! Some girls do not realize that we can be more beneficial to one another than against one another!

Mbabazi said...

where there are girls, there are mean girls

Anonymous said...

Social hierarchies and mean girls do not belong at church. Every thing they stand for runs contrary to who Christ is, and who Christians are called to be. Girls who form and control cliques, and who try to put others down in order to elevate themselves, do a great injustice to the church community and to individuals. They are also a very poor witness to the outside world and are allowing the enemy to work through their selfishness and pride.
Sadly, we have been dealing with mean girls at our church - I hate to use the term "mean", as if to demonize them. They are really just immature, insecure girls who struggle with their self-identity, and who look for meaning and significance in all of the wrong ways. The only thing that seems to matter to them is maintaining their social positions (regardless of how they treat others) and they don't give a rip about the biblical commands about love. The Queen Bee of our girls clique group is a passive -aggressive girl with an obvious problem with insecurity. She is a rather uninteresting individual with no real personality to speak of and few outside interests, other than social networking and trying to be popular. Her mother has done everything possible to orchestrate this girl's life so that she has strong connections with anyone who will help her advance her social position (the mom is also highly insecure, not surprisingly). The mom sucks up to every youth leader, pastor, or pastor's kids she can, seemingly in hopes that it will somehow advance her (and her daughter's) social position in the church. She totally uses people, and doesn't give one iota about the people she steps on in her struggle to the top. The mom also encourages her daughter to associate with only 'select' people that she deems acceptable - mostly these 'acceptable' girls are follower types who do not pose any threat to her daughter's precarious position in the hierarchy. Girls who are pretty, or talented, or have vivacious personalities are shunned, not invited to informal social gatherings, etc. People on the fringe don't even factor into this woman's radar at all, and the daughter has learned well from the mom. No sensitivity whatsoever: only a relentless striving for power.
The kicker in this whole situation is that the mean girl likes to appear to be a godly Christian girl... posting Bible verses and the like on Facebook etc., which is really kind of pathetic. Her small group of followers do likewise and they love to pat each other on the back with their "words of encouragement". If they spent one tenth the time they use to boost their public image, and spent it actually living the faith out in real life, well, the church would be different place.

Anonymous said...

well, i think it is imp to remember church is a place full of sinner who are seeking to grow in God (or at least i hope so)

if you have been in church long enough, you know some Christians could behave like a bigger jerk or bitch than non believers

and i know how frustrating that is...

but you know what , they are the ones who is missing out in the end.

you can not have God peace and joy while being a jerk at the same time, it really does work like that

in end of the day we need to mind our walks and remember we all need to give an account to God for our own behaviors, and we will be rewarded or not accordingly.

find people you click with and just stay away from those mean girls, life is too short.

Anonymous said...

Sadly we have mean girls at our church too. The sad thing is that she is the ministers daughter and he is a bit of a prima donna himself. This preacher actually said (from the pulpit) that talking behind people's backs is wrong, but talking to a friend is okay.That is how they justify spreading rumors about people. As to why are there mean girls in church? I think a lot of it comes to how they are treated by others. I mean no disrespect when I say that many of the "mean girls" and "mean boys" happen to be closely related to someone in the church that is considered to be a leader, whether it be a bishop, minister, or priest. Some of these kids seriously get the royal treatment. Now treating anyone like that is liable to turn their heads, add being a kid or teenager to the mix and you have potential for people who act entitled. The insecurity part would come in because unless the mean person was completely dense they would have to know why they are being treated as a celebrity. One good example, (Cause I've been dealing with mean church girls for about 22 years now): When I was about 13 and my sister was about 11 my friend invited all the girls and boys under the age of 16 for a sleepover. As the majority of the girls cliqued together I ended up hanging with my little sister. She and a boy ( a preacher's kid) asked if they could wash my friends dads car. He said ok, brought the car around and they started washing it. Apparently one of the windows was left down and the dad comes out screaming at my sister. He put her down, made her feel about three inches tall, then turned around to the boy. His exact conversation (which to me was so unbelievable that I never forgot it) was "Hey son, how ya doing? Wow, your dad's gonna preach for us tonight, right? Wow, I know we'll be hearing a good lesson tonight!" While play punching him in the arm and literally kissing up to a 10 year old boy. Now, add that time 10 years. Can you see how a person might feel entitled to behave however they want? They haven't learned too many lessons in how to respect people if they never had to show respect to receive respect.

Anonymous said...

We are members at a church where there is a girl cliche, and the Queen Bee is the Pastor's daughter. Everyone wants to be around her. For some reason, she has selected our daughter (1 year younger than herself) to exclude, shun, ostracize, steal her friends, make faces, etc.. We put up with this for a year, then I approached the girl's mom. Even though she is the pastor's daughter does NOT make it right. I hated to create any kind of problem (really I was trying to make her aware there WAS a problem!) However, the girl lied and her mom believed her. It all got turned around that my daughter is just "too emotional"...that she cries too much and too easily... etc.. Does anyone not wonder WHY she cries? The treatment is so subtle and "under the radar" no one notices it unless you watch closely (which I do). But then our daughter starts crying, and everyone sees that part...only they didn't see the part that MADE her cry. This girl is very good at what she does and will continue to get away with it. After talking with the mom, nothing is better...if anything, it is worse. She knows my daughter has one friend, and this girl calls her friend away (and the friend goes because like I mentioned...everyone wants to be around the Queen Bee)...but she does this knowing my daughter will be left standing alone. It breaks my heart.

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